STORIES
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thinking thoughts
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This morning I was having sahur with a not-so sleepy mind. I was quite awake. Alot of things are running through my mind.
I used to remember ramadhan of 2006. Still fresh. 146 it is, everyday. We're kids then, we didn't fast, we didn't care. Now, 2 years later. I think everything changed for the better and the worse. People get matured and were always looking for something to do, to buy, something that has got money to do with it. Thats hard for me, that's why I kinda back away. With me restricted from going home late, its so so hard. I wished they understand, I knew they did. Sometimes, I feel not needed anymore. Oh well, that's life. Friends can come and go, but you are still yourself. I missed the old times, seriously, the time, when, anything and everything can happened.
Now its 2008, wake up, wake up. This year was full of sorrows yet happiness. I managed to get through life with a whole new bunch of people. The Forum Bootboys. However never once I forgot the old friends, and seeing them at my gigs really makes me wanna cry, because at least they were there to watch me shine, even if they don't understand the music. Then, they were more and more new friends, some that I myself thought that we were never going to be friends.
3 times this year, I've failed in love, all because of friends. I'd guess I make it out alone was better, not until that day. Someone sent from God, I guess, woke me up. I knew that was her. That was it but I have to wait. Wait long enough so that I won't be heart-broken again, I hope. She's going through that phase of life, I think is killing her slowly, but I pray, to God I pray everynight for hersake because I knew she's not here for a short while. I wished God answers my prayers soon, in this holy month. As of for her. I think she know's who she is, but I just can't make it clear. I'm too afraid of rejections. VERY. Maybe soon enough, like I said, she's going through alot now. I've learnt not to rush. I've learnt the hard way.
Whatever it is. I will never forget my friends! Because they are like the sails of my ship. Without them, I'm stranded alone, but like sails, some will tear apart, some needs to be opened when there's wind but sometimes the ship don't need sails, because its following the flow.
To Tini, thanks for being there, since 22.08 I really appreciate you for being what you are on the very first day that we met. I know you are going to read this. Just wanna know, whom I chatted with yesterday night was not Tini. Because Tini was that sweet girl that I knew. I just don't want you to changed. Even if you are sad, you are being yourself. Just don't force happiness into yourself. I just wanna tell you that when you said that I was the only one listening to your problems, I felt honoured. Whatever it is, I'm here to help you, if you need help. :')
To readers, if you are not happy or thinks this or that about me. I just wanna say. People have their softside, the side that not much people show. If you think you don't have it, you ain't human.
Thanks for reading the longest post so far!
P.S: IF THERE'S ANY MISTAKES IN MY ENGLISH, OR ANY TYPOS, ITS BECAUSE I'M SLEEPY.
Voiced at 5:07 AM on 04 September 2008