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STORIES
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I deserve this?
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This feeling of just being me has done me good this time. I spent the whole of yesterday taking care of my cousin. I'd sacrifice my fucking weekend for it. I've got the bloc and piston but the shop is closed today, so I shall go tomorrow, get the bike fixed by next week and common test is around the corner.
Tell me something that will make me smile sincerely and happily. Tell me the reason why I'm waiting for you when I can go for someone else. Give me choices, I'll wreck them all.
Today is gig day! Bare Knuckles playing and in order to get a free entry, they are taking me as their 2nd vox! Haha! Today's gonna be fun.
Voiced at 11:05 AM on 31 May 2009
Al mighty
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Its about time people realise something. I'm human too you know. Tsk.
Days are getting more caught up with stupid stuffs. I have a cousin who is going through a major change. Fuck shit. I've got a naked bike in the workshop waiting for its new parts. I have people talking behind my back. I have kids wanting me to die and rot.
Aku boleh jadi ape aku nak, aku nye suker. Bukannye korang tak kenal aku ni. Aku tak heran lah kau siapa, aku tak heran lah kau ade siapa bawah tangan kau. Aku rempuh punya 'brader'. Kau nak buat bodoh, buat lah kebodohan kau tu. Siapa yang kesah. Ape yang aku tau. Biler aku masok kubur, aku masok sorang. Suka hati korang nak cakap ape, nak pikir ape dengan otak korng yang kecik tu. Suker suker je bobal belakang, tapi depan tak berani kan. One day I'll take you down. All of ya! FUCK YA!!
The colour yellow represents pride and loyalty. Obviously the kids downtown don't fucking understand it.
Voiced at 10:43 PM on 29 May 2009
Mum and Dad.
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A post dedicated to the most dedicated human beings I've lived with.
Never a day past without hard work, sweat and exhaustion. All just to keep the lights shining, the water running, the fire burning and the kids living. Never a thought to give up, never a thought to surrender. Showing the best examples to everyone. Respect all, fear none. Teaching their kids to behave where appreciated. Although some moments are inevitably sickening. Words that came out were harsh, we understood by recalling the troubles they when through all these years. They told us that they didn't want to see us suffer in the future. We understood and we took every moment with thoughts of their wise words. Every moment of our lives we remembered them, because without them, we are good as dead.
Mum was there all along, with tears and also smiles, in my successes and failures she was behind me. All along she prayed for the best although we couldn't give her the best. I'm proud to say, she's my mum, the woman who's there all along my 18 years of life. I'm happy to see her happy, but I knew her sorrows are too deep for the whole family. I know, that one day I will pay for what she'd done for us. For dad, for brother, for me.
Dad, he was there even though he wasn't physically there. Banker of the family. The one who never gives a shit about other people's wealth, because he understands the true meaning of getting rich, not of money and wealth but of the love and care for the family. I saw him break chairs on my brother, but my brother didn't lay a hand on him. I saw him crack the belt on my brother but brother didn't ran out of the house. I didn't escaped from what my brother felt. I didn't escape reality because at the end the day, we know that he loves us. He didn't have to show us.
Years go by, but memories remain.
Voiced at 11:03 PM on 28 May 2009
Downtown is burning.
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This Sunday is Music Fest, whatever it is. Yeah, I'm going man, I need to stupid downtown kids have 'fun'. Or maybe I won't waste my money to go watch then waste their lives away.
The thing is, I'm there to watch Bare Knuckle play. We can forget about The Bois, we can forget about whatever other bands that comes with them. Tsk. I'm also looking forward to SKP, an old punk band. Yeah and Unknown Soldier. I'm sure all the trash-kids will be there. I'll see them there too.
Look. Its not important what I write here. Its important what you see this Sunday. So come on down! Yeah!
Voiced at 9:43 PM on 25 May 2009
Exodus!
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Movement of the people!
Its like so common these days that friends forget friends. Remember 'you gotta make it in this world alone'. So I've decided to send TZM to Singapore's mechanics because obviously you can't rely on anybody to help you in this world. Instead of going across borders for a bike repair, I guess Ubi's alright and since mummy just said to go for repairs first, don't worry about the money, there's always big daddy cool.
After so long of not heading to town, I went there alone, and you should have seen what I wore man! Haha! Orchard's have changed alot and Ion is coming! Ion!
Voiced at 2:04 PM on 24 May 2009
Hey Kids!
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In the midst of stress and happiness, I love having lone time, thinking about my future. I need time to solve the problems that I face. =( The best thing about it, I have no one to talk to, because everyone doesn't seem to understand what I'm facing. Its not that I don't appreciate your concerns. Its me, I can't seem to get what you guys are trying to help me with.
Voiced at 9:55 PM on 20 May 2009
Planets in love.
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You met a girl, a sweet sweet girl. You went out twice with her, you held her hands on the second time you went out with her. I knew, its her and only her but she is not really convince about your love, about words. She kept thinking maybe its your past that triggers those feelings and words. You knew that your past has got nothing to do with your present. Especially when its a dreadful past. You tried your best to be perfect but still you made mistakes, and you could see yourself falling.
She, gave you hope after months of agony and stress. She finally got the hook out of your throat. She just didn't know how much she means to you. You tried to tell, but words aren't strong enough. You tried to write it in a song but its not working either. You are longing to meet her, after so long. You are in love. Something you used to hate to be in, something that used to kill you.
You decide to give it a try after how many times falling hard. You and her are like planets in love. So near yet so far. So similar yet so different. So common yet so unique. You are in love.
Voiced at 10:23 PM on 18 May 2009
Tell me about it.
===============
Once had your hair cropped, put on your boots, yellow laces, thin braces and everything that represents you and only you. Ben Sherman neatly tucked in, but never did I care when it was all messy at the end of the day. I know, I had my mates by my side almost everywhere I went, I held my pride in my heart not on the shoulders of my friends. I had the name FORUM BOOTBOYS engraved on the chest of my tee. I had it all. Pride and honour. People knew who I am, but they didn't know better than my best mate himself. Someone I had stepped on, yet stands back up just for me, someone who made me feel belonged.
2009. All were seemingly lost for me, I've made a choice, or a mistake to almost forget everything I've laid out for me. I almost lose it all. With my brother saying that he doesn't want any shit to do with the crew anymore. With a cousin inside behind bars. I thought to myself, is it really really worth it. I didn't answer that, I couldn't. Everything seems to have its pros and cons. I love the crew but the blood that's flowing in me, is my brother's blood, his hatred, his anger, his undefined attitude. I tried my best to push it aside. I'm sorry. I've changed. I'm not that Yat people look at and say, he's just another skinhead. I know this ain't the time for self-pride but I hate the fucking fact that we are changing the old ways. The good ol'Forum ways. I'm sorry, maybe I'm a coward backing out from you guys. Maybe I'm too soft or just not 'man' enough like you guys but I'm still a fucking Forum Bootboy and that's that!
Love ya mates and lasses.
Once a bootboy always a bootboy.
Voiced at 10:22 PM on 17 May 2009
Sanday!
===============
Eh, besok sekolah~
Today was market day with mommy then we talked about bikes, she was really concerned about our TZM afterall.
Mom: Tukar sumer 1st hand punya spare parts, jangan 2nd hand, tak bagus ah.
Me: Banyak duit nak tukar sumer, lebih baik beli motor baru with a wink.
Mom: Kasi betol tu motor kalau tak jual!
Me: AH! taknak jual! *hugs mom*
Mom still insisted to get the repairs done in Spore, but its too fucking expensive and you don't see what they put in or take out from your bike. I prefer M'sia the best, because M'sia is YAMAHA Country HAHA!
HAHAHA! love mom alot =) hahaha!
Today I'm going to accompany my cousin to look for amplifiers and yeah, going to test for him also~ =)
Voiced at 1:53 PM on
Selambar
===============
Today, spent the whole fucking day, spraying the helmet, the paintjob wasn't that satisfying but hell, we did it man. We planned to hit the clubs later but the helmet couldn't finish in time so we had to put the idea aside.
The kids said that X-fighter was great, maybe it was for them, or for me, but I think I had better things to do. Thus, I've come up with some plans for me and Dear to look forward to but haven't told her yet, surprise! =)
Time is so so fast these days and its just not helping with school all day~ Darn!
Voiced at 1:19 AM on
Buzzzzung!
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Okay, school school has taken up my time, more than ever but it was great ah, great classmates and all. I missed my best mates alot. Today might be coming down to Forum after such a long time not going there. Sometimes in life, you just have to put aside the things that you once hold so dearly and just focus on other things first.
My days are confused and caught up with questions that I can't find my answers to. We have a gig coming up and we don't even know whether we are playing for it, seems that we don't care anymore for the band, seems like its dying, no offence, a break yes, but its too long brothers.
Voiced at 10:58 AM on 16 May 2009
Confused and dumb
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What's this, a fairytale?
Life's been out of this world lately! Speed was confession lately.
I'm trying my best to tell people what I feel but I'm too confused with whatever they maybe pointing out to me~
I guess I'll fuck it and just really really go with the flow~
Voiced at 7:47 PM on 11 May 2009
Mac is Back!
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Alot happened since the day I sent Mac in for repairs.
Friday went out to meet friends at memo! Yes CITYHALL can you believe that?
Then Saturday spent almost the whole day in M'sia, first time riding on M'sian road! =)
Got my bike serviced and 140! 140! haha! Then when I got back, there was a tiny whinny accident! =(
Then I was okay! =)
Sunday was spent with friends and family equally! =)
I think I told you guys that everyday was mother's day to me! =)
I love my mum. =)
Voiced at 7:39 PM on
I don't believe.
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I mean, why me?
Why did today turned out so wrong!
First it was the bike.(again)
Then I lost my mood to jam.
Then I just realised that I only ate once today.
Come on, why me? I believed in karma, what you give is what you get.
I can't recalled doing bad things to people did I?
I don't really understand this, and the worst thing is that, no one really knows that I had this all along, because I didn't tell, because no on would ever fucking care~
Those who tried to care, I thank you, but its not helping, I need to find another solution and obviously a girlfriend is not one, nor isit a ride on the road.
Voiced at 11:04 PM on 05 May 2009
Tried to stay awake and remember my name~
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Yat Delirium nak masok Singapore Idol boleh tak?
HAHA!
So ya! Woke up early today to go buy lunch then went to Pasir Ris to get my chainguard fixed and sooon its the spocket and the suspension and vualah! =)
Voiced at 1:38 PM on 03 May 2009
Weekend; considered gone!
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Damn, two days of non-stop malay music and nasi briyani! haha! I guess it was all worth it for the pay ah~
Ouh ya! The bike seems all managed and done with, except for some minor parts, and ya! The terrible noise when it reaches 120. Its really not pleasant when you are riding a noisy bike at 120. =(
Then again, I need to get alot things done with school~ We already had projects coming in!
Voiced at 1:05 AM on