============
===============
Ais
I remember when I was a kid. Still growing up. Still needed time to understand stuffs. You were there for me. Every single time I fell down, you help me up, not entirely but surely. The days when we spend time doing what other kids were doing. You, me and my brother. You were like my own brother too. Never did you vanished in my thoughts. Days past and I still remembered the day you made it to the top-10 of the Singapore Skateboarding X-games. I was so proud! I looked up to you! Then as soon as things were on top, it just had to fall right?
I hated your dad, because he was being selfish to you. He just had to stop whatever that you were doing. He didn't fucking understand what kids like us had to went through, and I could see you are failing in life. 2003 I saw you following my brother's footsteps. You shaved your head but you were in the wrong crowd, not entirely wrong. Just that you were really lost. I too did follow, but brother pulled me back and reminded me that it isn't time yet. You went on with all the glory that you could fight for. Soon, you fell. Pills and pins got you hard. You were a fucking junkie, and hell I hated you. I hated to see you all thin and bony. Still I kept faith. Years passed and I didn't bother much anymore.
2008. Shining bright like a star. It was our first gig and you were there. Fucking proud to see you singing along. Especially when I know that you are going off soon enough. I was happy enough to even see your girlfriend outside, I felt related to her. You still kept junk-ing your way through life. I even had a thought to beat you up but no, we went through too much. I respected you like my own brother only that I couldn't look up to you anymore. Not a junkie!
The last sight of you. The last brotherly hug was almost a few weeks back, on the first day of Raya before you had to go. I knew there are some words I wanna say to you, but I can't bring myself to. You didn't cry but I can feel the sadness. I could feel how painful it is to leave. All I wanna say is that, I'll see you soon because its what are about. We are brothers. I'm proud to roll with you through the good times.
When you get out, we will enjoy like how we used to. See you real soon my cousin. Keep the fucking faith.
To all of you, who didn't feel a pinch of this post, please fuck off. This is my life. My faith. My pride. Up yours to all the fucking junkies who ruined our society! FUCK YOU ALL!
Voiced at 10:24 PM on 22 October 2008