For those who knows.

STORIES
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BAH YEK AHH!

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Alright! Today I PASSED MY fucking prac 5!
fuckingfucking yes!
So there's RTT and two more pracs to go!
School's starting soon. Aww man! AND! Tomorrow is the last day of this fucking year, yes! I'm looking forward to celebrating it with my mates!
Still we are not sure of where we are going, thats great.
haha!
Still I have yet to regain all those losses and its progressing great. =)
SUFFER SUFFER SUFFER!
I had enough already. HAHA!
SO yes, new year! Got a gig to go this friday! Gonna support BAREKNUCKLE man!
and yes! alot of thinking to do! Can't wait for 2010! HAHAHA!

Voiced at 8:16 PM on 30 December 2008

Red Gold Green and Two-Tone.

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damn!
Spent Saturday and Sunday by the stage moving to Ska and Reggae.
It was ska wars on saturday and Bushmen hit the stage on sunday!
i got nothing much to talk about.
I'm not in the mood.
Happy Muharam to all Muslims =]
I love mommy alot.

Voiced at 12:30 AM on 29 December 2008

East Beatdown Crew!

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2009!
Let it be Hardcore!
I'm proud to really move on! Yes not entirely. Hey! nothing feels better than standing up after a fall. A hard one.

2008!
Been really fucked up.
I failed 4 times this year, yup! But my studies was muah! Good! Happy for that. I'm proud to be accepted for who I am. I'm to be part of the best crew in Singapore. We made it this far. I made this far. No time to fall and stay down anymore. I have friends. Yes! I know. I have new friends. I love then all. Wani, Jana, Zuu, Fir, The Forum Crew, Fatini and somemore. I saw a light of life. I know what is right and what is wrong.

So here is 2009!
New year Resolution!

To lose the fats
To have someone AGAIN!
To beat up fake-ass mothafucking posers
NOT to be really really dumb like this year.
TO REALLY MOVE ON!
omg there's more!!

Voiced at 12:55 AM on 27 December 2008

Old friends Good Friends

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Today was really not much expected right!
Met up with old friend, Farhana, not that she is old just that we haven't met for 2 years!!
hahaha
We had a meal at Magic Wok and then had Fried Mars Bars, my favourite!! Yum, then there was this cute baby! We talked about alot of stuffs. Alot!
Then we sat by the stage to watch some J-rock band, can you imagine J-rock!
haha! so we decided to call it a day.
But NO! someone called, someone of very much value to me.HAHA!
Astuty!
called me to dinner! I won't tell you what we had because you will be really really shocked!!
hahahah!

Voiced at 12:24 AM on

ChristMESS!

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Today spent half of the day crapping around town, down by the hilton with mates.
Went back home with fucking drunk Nabeel. Damn his drunk. I'll put up a video of him crapping sooon.
hahaha!
Tomorrows going out! After so long~

Voiced at 12:04 AM on 26 December 2008

Somehow

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Things have been really really bored at home.
Well going out tomorrow!
=D

Voiced at 12:20 PM on 25 December 2008

Blunt as ever!

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Saturday and Sunday was spent well with great mates.
Saturday was spent slacking at forum and enjoyed the view of great great things. hmmm.

Sunday was football day. Damn Singapore lost to fucking viet-cunts. Seriously, I don't mind, not a nationalist anyway. Guess what, I didn't get to go for the aggro because I was stupid enough to wait for them. Next time, dah takde tunggu ah, aku tunggu bukan nye korang ingat aku. Cunts.

Tomorrow will slack at home and prepare for PRAC 5 =D

Voiced at 1:20 AM on 22 December 2008

Bolt!!!

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Today went out to meet cuzzy and our friends. Went to book for BTT. Yes, car and motor at the same time. I don't mind, at least I got something to fill my time with, rather wasting time, getting wasted, getting all downmood. So yeah.

We when to PS to have lunch/dinner or whatever. Then we headed down to Cathay to watch Bolt! YES! An animated movie for KIDS! Oh well. I enjoyed it, I don't know about the others. Then we headed home not before snapping a few pics like we always do. I love hanging out with them. Apart from clean surrounding air, I don't spoil my liver too. =D

yes. I miss you alot. too much. =D

Voiced at 10:04 PM on 17 December 2008

Selfish.

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One said things happened for a reason.

Even how stupid the reason is, it is a reason. Right? I'm still not out of the trauma that really hit me right on the face recently. Come on, I was being me. However, my eyes are wide opened now that everything had gone your way and not mine. I'll just finish my days hanging out with my mates by the shop, or I'll be down by the driving centre. I still can't bring myself to go out, have the kind of fun that I had few months ago. Everything did change including me, you and everybody. I'm just being more realistic in life because I've been spending too much time in dreamland.

Everything has an end, and hell I know this was coming. Only that I was once the guy who can't accept the fact that I lost. I lost my way. Yes, now I feel the feeling that I've been trying to avoid all this while, which is walking alone. Not literally, just that, I can't find someone to be there for me anymore, and I'm glad nobody really rely on me that much too. So yes, I really really wish I had ended it way before it started. =(

I know someone will feel that pinch on their butts when they read this. You broke me down to pieces. Now I'm a bummer. With nothing to look forward to. Nothing to dream of. Nothing to achieve because everything is already down in the drain. I'm sorry, I'm still broken. You don't have to care because I know you will not. Just that this is what I've kept for so long, this is what I stood strong to withstand. This pain and agony. God knows how it feels. Nobody else does.

*sigh*

Voiced at 12:41 AM on

B.I.T.C.H

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Yesterday was Nabeel's gig, amazed how he screeched on his vocals. HAHA! good job Burnt!

The other bands were great too. \m/ Yes people look at us like we are strange. Let me ask you, is there really limit in the moshpit. Can't a skinhead just enjoy some rock music. Stop the discrimination please. Yes, we didn't got drunk yesterday. =D All the way I was looking for the right moment, especially when they was the walll of death. Still I think hardcore pit is the best. Next to Oi! =D

and fuck that drunk bitch.

Voiced at 12:23 PM on 14 December 2008

Great morning!

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Today started fresh and energetic for me! Got off my butt at 9 and went for a morning jog. This time alone. Jog all the way to TP and back. Whilst jogging I made some self reflection on myself of what I'm to do in the future. All it took was an hour of non-stop music then it was home again.

Yesterday, chat with Lyra and Farhana about life. Its just great when you have a friend who have been where you are now and some who are where you are now. Same road, same boat, same page. Well, it just seems that I lost all my friends, but I'd snap back to reality that everybody has their own business. Yes, people come and go but doesn't mean they go, they won't come back rite?

Lyra really got me in alot of things. Like when I told her, "what's going to happen next in my life?" and she said "if you already know, wouldn't it be boring?" LYRA LYRA! haha! always knows how to answer! HAHA!

Today's the 13th! Nabeel's gig, and my plans are soon to be executed! =D

Voiced at 10:58 AM on 13 December 2008

What has happened?

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Seriously, I'm sick and tired seeing some people leading their lives like there's no tomorrow. Including me, I know I used to do stupid things. I know its time to stop.

But in this life, once again I tell you all. YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT ALONE FOR ONCE. Never depend on friends, mates or even your parents too much because when there are not there, you will feel so down as though you cannot carry on with life. NO! you can! haha! Well, life, what do you expect.

So here I am. End of 2008 and still doing what I do best. Music. I'm not good and making people love me because I have nothing to show. All thanks to the memories I had. Good and Bad! hmmm

Voiced at 10:07 PM on 12 December 2008

Empty!!

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Today met them mates to tag along to their journey to youth skate park down at somerset. Suppose to meet up at around 8.30 but guess what everybody was ready to go only at 10. yes almost 2 hours of waiting. Then everybody didn't eat, except for some, I didn't. Then we took the train to the other side. They started skating I started clicking. Pictures were great, the camera sucks.

I fell twice while trying to enter the fucking steep slope or whatever not the pipe. I scratched my knee but what the hell. BE A MAN! haha! I enjoyed taking pictures of them when they are on air. REALLY AWESOME! Willie had them nice pics.

Then went to scape. Then I started to feel like shit. My stomach was grumbling and I had only 2 bucks. So I went home with Willie, Epul and the rest. In total I took 253 pictures. Imagine if I were to stay longer! HAHA! Its Friday and I'm at home at night! That's what you do when your mates aren't there for you. *sigh* *BIG SIGH*

So I'd rather stay home and chat with Hid haha! At least there's someone to talk to, better than none rite?

Voiced at 6:41 PM on

FREE-DAM!

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One thing I look into a song is its lyrics. How meaningful it is. How strong the impact is on my life. How can I relate it to my life. Hardcore, Oi!, Reggae, Ska are the main pillars of my music life. positive lyrics spreading anger and hate in a good way. Enough about lyrics!

New layout huh. NO. just different colours and I played around with positioning. I'd missed Bushmen last Sunday, gonna catch'em soon next year! I was so lazy to go to school today because Mom was not working, and she was frying rice this morning! What a great way to wake up! haha! I love mom! To me, everyday is a Mother's Day. Mom have been that great pillar, especially this year, when I kinda 'lost' some friends. So what, friends come and go, mom's don't, great moms stood by their children through happy and sad. I really trust mom since the day I couldn't trust any friends. I would be totally lost without her. =) so, treasure your mom!

My life. still rocking as usual, just a bit nervous for our gig in Melaka next Feb! Oh no! haha! Fuck it!

till then. Fight for your Free-DAM!

Voiced at 11:48 PM on 09 December 2008

The End

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So, things have been really really 'okay' I might say. Sometimes I wonder why I'm going online anyway. Everybody seem so busy with whatever they are doing, its as though my contact list is empty. However maybe there are some kind souls who really takes the boredom out of me. I think I'm just being too caught up with life.

I have a motive in life. That is, when I do a mistake, I share it with someone and then I will learn something out of it, and when I see someone doing the same mistakes, I'll tell myself, hey, I'm not alone. In life, you can try to be as flawless as possible, but the harder you try the more flaw you will show. Life's not perfect and so is everything.

I do try my best to be a listening ear to anybody but I have limits too. I will reach to an extend to where, I feel just drop the topic and go to sleep and leave that friend to be alone because I know, sometimes what I say isn't entirely right. I know, I've been such an ass these past few months. I wanna change, its a new year soon. However I still need time to forget what had happened to me. This year, have been full of excitement and everything new.

I thank God for all the things that happened to me, because I know everything happens for a reason. The fact that I still have friends around. A neighbour to talk to even though I don't understand half of what she usually say. I grew fond of the feeling of being alone. I'd rather spend my days all by myself or with my mates. Half of the time I will be thinking of what's going to happen soon. Surprisingly, what I predicted would be really really different that what happened, but I was ready for it, be it a rejection, a trip, a fall or anything that everybody wants to avoid.

December came rolling all smoothly. I have learnt how to wait for the things to fall in place and not to rush. My studies are going down the drain already. I'm tired of being good, because you get step on the head more often. I hate people with a fucked-up attitude. I hate cunts who think that they know everything and everything you say is wrong. FUCK YOU!

Voiced at 11:51 PM on 08 December 2008

More bad news on the radio!

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So had a good fun time with them great guys at Downtown East Costa Sands Chalet. Everything was so last minute, but still we managed. Ouh well, we drank on both nights. The second night was a blast. HAHA! woke up with a slight hangover, but I don't know as the day goes by it gets stronger, or was it me?

So ya, I don't lie to myself that much anymore because I've found that reason why people and me just can't get together and come to think of it, I changed alot, both good and bad changes. To have the will to love someone really makes you do strange things and to have that person not to love you back, makes you do more strange things! Suppose to catch Bushmen tomorrow, but I ain't got no money, and was supposed to meet them bootboys down at homeground, sorry mates, I'm too tired and broke. =( happy drinking!

Yes you all, might say, I know and I'm sure about it, you guys will go, ape ni yat, minom minom, haiz, dulu tak macam gini. Yes, I told you, I've changed and yes, I have no use to keep the promise that I've made earlier. This is how I run my life. This is how I'm gonna thrive. Please give me some space. I know, people will care and bother, I thank you all for that, but its not the attention that I seek, I just want answers to this long and suffering pain. AND! I really really really really really really miss someone, I know we don't talk anymore and yes you are busy as always, but I miss you, you know who, the one who told me to buy the Adidas shoe, yes you. I miss you alot.

I've taken a vow, never to step onto cityhall because it brings fond memories that I cannot control, no, I can't.
Okay lets skate!

Voiced at 7:36 PM on 06 December 2008

I want out!

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currently listening to: I WANT OUT by helloween!

So turned in late last night, spend the whole wee hours of the morning with brother, repairing Nabeel's darn motor. Yes, its tamiya, so what? People who think Tamiya is for children, then they are very wrong. Tamiya is actually for the older crowd. Like us. So Nabeel's motor all up and running. I'd rather spend all my money on Tamiya then to food or clothes or shoes, because I have no more reason to go out all dressed up nicely, I'm just too lazy I guess. The post-heartbreak is going off I think, like my cough. Everything seems to shed light on my thoughts, so I know what to expect. I wanna ride a bike sooon! HAHAHA!

13 Dec is so coming! Nabeel's performing, so maybe I'd give em support. Still the surprise is still on eh BEEL! Don't expect much. HAHA! I don't really go to Black Metal gigs, just that since Nabeel's band is playing some metallica covers, I'm SO GOING!

So school's starting late today, I'm all ready, and I shaved my head again, I can't stand the look of my hair when its growing. New year's coming! I still love 2008 best. All the best days this year!

25th May 2008- First yellow lace on boots.
7th June 2008- First Oi! gig!
26th July 2008- Second and worst gig!
22nd August 2008- Best day of my life.
3rd Oct 2008- Lost my cousin to junk.
8th Nov 2008- Best darn Oi! gig and worst move to do to a girl.
15th Nov 2008- Best birthday, last day of underage drinking and a surprise.
16th Nov 2008- 18th birthday!
21st Nov 2008- Ended Akademi Radio and had an interview with Fiza O.
28th Nov 2008- Best time spent with a girl.
29th Nov 2008- Worst quarrel and worst everything
More to come!

Voiced at 10:52 AM on 03 December 2008

Regrets.

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I've been having cough since early november now but with all the things that happened I couldn't care less. I'm already used to this loneliness, thus I've made it part of me. I keep it mind that in this life, we never walk alone. NEVER. Even when you don't have your friends around you, you still have memories, good or bad, that accompany you. I feel so useless these days. Like normally bumming and eating. Today I was so upset that I kinda overeat. I can't be bothered, can't be motivated anymore. =( Whatever it is, I'll try my best to break through the walls that's blocking my way. I guess I'm too lazy to go through this shit anymore. I'll LIVE!

Voiced at 1:21 PM on 01 December 2008